I feel that our true purpose as parents is to help our kids feel loved as we teach them what’s right and care for their needs. So what are their needs?
I can’t list out everything a child needs, especially because every child is different. But there are things that I’ve noticed all my kids need.
I’m not trying to give you a big to do list, so please don’t take this post that way! Instead, think about what things come to mind as you read through this that your child may not be getting enough of, and focus on those.
I’m not a perfect parent, and I don’t expect you to be. Still, as I strive to meet these kids’ needs, I notice they are calmer, kinder, and happier. That makes parenting more enjoyable!
Kids’ Physical Needs
Kids need to eat healthy foods. Simple Nutrition for Your Kids covers what I believe to be a healthy diet for kids, which is high in protien and fiber, low in sugar and fat, and has plenty of variety. Think whole grains and plenty of fruits and vegetables. Many times kids misbehave or have meltdowns because they’re hungry, so keep good snacks handy.
Kids need outside time! There are real and obvious benefits from getting vitamin D in the sunshine, digging in the dirt, and breathing in the fresh oxygen from the plants. Our kids need to grow up with that! Make time for outside on regular basis!
Kids need exercise. Anything that gets your kids moving is great. My kids have enjoyed bikerides, swimming, jumping on a trampoline, running through sprinklers, going for walks (when it’s not too hot outside), dancing, roller skating, racing, etc.
Kids need enough sleep. Making and keeping a nap and bedtime routine for our little ones helps so much. Try to pay attention to when your kids are tired to plan a routine that works well for them. And watch out as they grow and change, because their routines will need to change too. For some of our bedtime adventures read A Bedtime Story.
Kids’ Emotional Needs
Kids need hugs! So often when my kids are upset what calms them down is a hug or to be held. Hug your kids! Read more thoughts on physical affection in Morning Hugs.
Kids need to be listened to. Giving our kids our undivided attention for just a few minutes while they talk means so much to them! Look at them, and respond to let them know you heard what they said. If they are telling you that they are angry or sad, let them know it’s ok to have those feelings.
Kids need respectful words. As we talk to our kids, we need to be careful to not insult or belittle them. So much of how a child feels about him/herself comes from what their parents say about them. Tell them they are good and loved. Tell them in a matter-of-fact way when they need to correct their behavior. Watch for the good they do and say it.
You may have heard of “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, a couselor, author, husband, and father. He’s written several books about the different ways we show and feel love. One is about children. I found this one about teenagers to be especially helpful in our family. Learn more at the Love Languages website.
Kids’ Learning Needs
Kids need discipline. Discipline means teaching our kids what behaviors are moral, honest, and kind, and what behaviors are not ok. They need to learn how to make things better when they make mistakes. Remember that they learn as much from our example as they do from our words. For more thoughts on this see How Not to Parent or Be Tough and Gentle.
Kids need new information. School is one way for our kids to feed their hungry minds. I believe that our kids also need to feed their curiosity of good things, and to have guidance in how to find the answers to their questions about everything. When they ask a question, help them look up the answer and enjoy learning with them.
Kids need religion. It’s important for our children to know that there is a higher power and that there are answers to life’s big questions. I am a Christian, which means I believe that God is our Father and sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to atone for our sins. This gives my life much meaning and hope, and I do my best to pass that to my children. Teach your children what you believe that gives your life meaning.
Kids need to learn life skills. It’s easy to get excited when our kids learn to walk, talk, and use the potty. We are also anxious to help them find their talents in music or sports and tell them how great they are. How about learning to cook and clean, or plunging the clogged toilet, or tightening a loose screw? Little kids are often more capable than we think, and when given a chance to try they can be surprisingly helpful! Learning skills is important for their self-confidence.
Kids’ Playtime Needs
Kids need to play with people. As children develop, they first learn how to play next to people, and then to interact as they play. It doesn’t matter how old or young their “friends” are. As they play with others they learn to communicate and cooperate. They practice decision making. They also find joy in connecting with others.
Kids need to play on their own. All my kids have naturally gone to their own space from time to time, whether to their own place outside, in the living room, or in their bedroom. It’s natural and important for them to have some quiet time to themselves.
Kids need to be creative. Whether it’s with building blocks or painting or writing or playing pretend, kids need a chance to be creative. There is confidence and joy that comes when we have an idea and see it become a reality. Give your kids opportunites to be creative.
Here’s a great book that talks about our kids needs. This book talks about helping our kids balance their time to keep their minds healthy. Find more about it at “The Yes Brain” webpage.
Thanks for reading my post. I hope you’re enjoying your adventure!
