Have you ever noticed that just when you get used to your baby’s routine, it changes? Or that every half a year or so your kid seems to switch personalities? In my parenting, I can see that the seasons my kids go through come and go, just like the weather outside.
Right now the summer is turning into fall, which is probably my favorite season here in the desert.
Making sense of seasons
Growing up I was really confused about the seasons. In school they taught us about the seasons that happen in a leafy forest. You’ve probably all seen the picture with four trees, the first with blossoms, the next covered in green leaves, then the orange and yellow leaves, then a bare tree with snowflakes around it. That’s just not how the seasons go here in the desert, so it took me a while to figure out what they were talking about.
In my mind, the seasons here in the Sonoran Desert start over with fall. This is when it cools enough to start our gardens and go outside to play. This is when we have the most green because we’ve just been through our rainy season.
In the winter it cools off enough for a light jacket and the trees that will lose their leaves do it then. The citrus trees keep their leaves, and their fruit is ripe in the winter. It’s wonderful to be outside that time of year!
Spring is glorious with flowers and blossoms. The citrus tree blossoms smell amazing! And spring really comes whenever outside feels like it, it doesn’t wait for the calendar. Our apple tree usually still has a few fall leaves hanging on when the new leaves and blossoms appear. At the end of spring we get the final harvest from our backyard garden.
And summer is just too hot. The grass and garden plants die from the heat. Summer is the season we are either indoors or in the pool, just waiting for fall to come back.
And it’s a funny thing; when the seasons are changing, my kids wake up more in the night. Do your kids do that?
| A Desert Fall When fall is coming cicadas stop humming. The days are not as long. The heat is fading, the scorpions hiding, the rains have come and gone. Kids are biking, people are hiking. We’ll picnic on the lawn. Birds are coming and they’re staying- we love to hear their song. Leaf color showing, citrus fruit growing, cacti are tall and strong. Holidays nearing, happy kids cheering as desert fall comes along. |
Our kids have seasons too
As a parent I’ve noticed some definite seasons that all my kids pass through. There’s that amazing, exhausting infant stage. I love that toddler stage where they start to show their personality. That stage where you have to start disciplining is not so fun. The stage where the holidays are magical is so fun! The stage where they suddenly don’t like any thing you cook is discouraging! There’s a very pleasant stage at the end of that first decade and starting the second, where they start to have real conversations with you, and they’re just nice to hang out with.
Woven throughout all these seasons are mini seasons that my mom warned me about. She said that in her child development class she learned that about every 6 months kids will switch back and forth between being helpful and watchful, to pushing their boundaries. I have definitely seen this in my kids. Often within a couple weeks of their birthday or half birthday I’ll notice them being nicer or more grouchy and either think, “Whew!” or, “Here we go again.”
I’ve already written a whole post on that stormy teenage season. That teenage stage brings many new thoughts on parenting. And we’ve recently entered a new season in our parenting: one of our kids left home. What will this season bring?
I seem to wake up more in the night when our kids are changing seasons. Does that happen to you?
One really tricky thing about parenting a big family is having so many seasons going on at the same time. The ones that are closer in age need love and attention in similar ways, but the bigger age differences have really different needs. It’s been hard for me to parent both teenagers and babies because I feel like the big ones need me to go and the little ones need me to stay home. I feel so torn.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
Eccl. 3:1
So what can we do with all these seasons? Change can be a really hard part of life. How can we help ourselves and our children through it all?
Be a constant for our children through the changing seasons
Keep God as a constant. What a blessing it’s been in my life to have a belief and faith in a higher power. This has been a constant comfort throughout all the changes in my life and in our children’s lives. As parents we hope that our children will also be helped and comforted with God’s love throughout their lives.
We keep Him as a constant as we make habits and traditions of church, prayer, and scriptures. We keep Him close as we listen for His guidance and watch for His blessings, when we think of Him, and talk of Him and talk to Him throughout our days.
Be a constant in your parenting. We keep ourselves as a constant for our children when we set rules and follow through with consequences. We are a constant as we make habits and traditions of spending time together, and speaking respectfully to each other. When we love them unconditionally, even when we hate what they’re doing, they will feel that we are a constant and a comfort they can always turn to. Knowing what they can expect from us will help them feel safe.
Be there at the crossroads. I once heard a mother of a large family give this advice, to be there at the crossroads in life when the kids are coming or going. It just made sense in my mind that this would help my kids know that I care, to be there to say hello or goodbye, to let them know that their comings and goings matter to me. So I do this as much as I can. Some days these are the majority of the interactions I get with my older kids, so I’m glad I’ve made a decision to do this.
Enjoy the summer rain. I recently wrote about stopping to smell the roses in Stealing Some Time. I wrote about a similar concept, of putting your kids before your to-do’s, in my first post Interruptions.
Every season has beauty in it, and no season will last forever, so enjoy it while it lasts. Coo at your 2 month old, do photo shoots of your toddler, watch and play with them and hold them while they’ll let you. Enjoy their more grown up conversations when they come. Look for and comment on the good of those teens who need validation in a time that’s so confusing. There is good in each stage. The trick is to look for it and make time for it. Like the rain comes and goes so quickly in the scorching summer months, you have to stop what you’re doing and dance in it to really appreciate that it came.
Thanks for reading my thoughts on parenting. If you liked it, share it. And enjoy this season of your adventure.
