Have you ever felt like you’ve gotten so lost in parenting that you don’t remember yourself? Like you could tell each of your kids’ favorite dinners, but not yours? Like you don’t even remember what you’re good at?
Parenting is like that sometimes. I think it’s important for us to put our hearts in parenting, to do the best we can with it while our children are in our care. But I’ve also learned that it’s important to remember myself. And I’ve found that using my talents in my parenting or on the side makes life feel happier.
A Hard Road to Joy
There is no doubt about it, having three little kids is tough!
When we had three little kids, I felt so lost in my full-time mom job. I never thought about what I wanted or needed. It was all about keeping my 4 year old out of trouble, potty-training the 2 year old, and nursing the baby, day in and day out. And I hit a point where I was asking myself what the point was, and why I was there. I even had thoughts of running away. I had lost my joy in parenting.
When I read about my feelings I realized I was depressed. I went to my husband and asked him for a blessing. (In our faith, any worthy man can be given authority to give special blessings of healing or direction straight from God to the person in need.) That blessing was a turning point for me. I was told that I had all the tools I needed to get past that depression. I was told to turn to scriptures and words of modern-day prophets to find answers to my questions, and that I should make exciting goals for myself.
Exciting goals for myself! What hopeful advice that was! But what did it even mean? I started to think – what did I like to do? What was I good at? And I started to remember. I loved to sing and play music. I loved to write. I loved to learn. I loved to teach and be creative with lessons. It was soon after that when I started to homeschool, which was a highlight of the day for me and our little ones. Using my talents to teach my kids made me feel alive again.
What’s something that you’re good at that you could use to make your family life better? Maybe you’re good at decorating or cooking. Maybe you’re good at adding some fun to life. Maybe you’re good at creating or organizing. I encourage you to think about what talents you have that could bring some joy to your parenting.
Using my Talents to Find Joy
I’m still mom full-time, making dinner, wiping noses, reminding kids to go potty, giving hugs and snacks. I keep track of who needs to be where when and who needs a new pair of pants. I still try hard to keep track of my kids’ likes and dislikes. I also run a microschool where I teach my own kids and a few other kids 4 days a week, and I’m tired when the school day is over.
And I try to remember my likes and my talents. My talent for teaching has gotten better with time. I’ve gained a talent for cooking. I am good at making plans and organizing. And I’m good at writing.
In recent years, since I started writing these blog posts, I’ve remembered my love for writing. Ever since I was little I’ve been writing poems, stories, and journals often. Just this year, a dream has come true for me: I wrote and published a novel! I am absolutely thrilled to have a story I wrote in a book!
and Barnes & Noble.
My mom-in-law asked me when I had time to write a book. It was in 10 minutes here and 20 minutes there, a little at a time. Just keeping that love of writing fresh in my mind helps me to make time for it and enjoy it.
I encourage you to remember what you love and have talents for and make time for them when you have a few minutes.
It’s a good example for your kids
Using our talents brings joy to us as parents and to our families, but it does more than that. It’s a good example for our kids. When our kids see us using our talents for good, they will look for their own gifts and find joy in them. It feels great to see our kids use their talents to find joy and bless others. Even when they’re young they can start to do amazing things.
I just had to share this video of a sweet mess our 4 year old left when she made her big brother breakfast. 💕
Thanks for reading my post. Enjoy your adventure.
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