Enjoying family life doesn’t always come naturally. Every parent knows that having kids means lots of work. It’s easy to get so caught up in the work that you miss the joy. Sometimes we focus so much on one stage that we miss what’s beautiful about the next stage. Kids change fast as they go through their seasons into adulthood. (You can read more thoughts on Changing Seasons here.) I’ve come to find that every stage has something to enjoy.
President Russell M. Nelson of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints says, “the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” (“Joy and Spiritual Survival” Oct 2016) I know that as I’ve worked to find the joy in family life, I have felt it a lot more. Here are some joys I’ve found through all their stages of growing up.
Baby Stage
There’s nothing more magical than the first time you hold your newborn in your arms. Just feeling their warmth against you and seeing their tiny face is amazing. As time goes by you get to see all the firsts: the first smile, the first laugh, the first time to roll over and sit up. I remember my hubby and I getting so excited when our first baby hit the little toy that hung above his bouncy seat. We got just as excited when each of our other kids hit it for the first time. I’ll always love the baby stage.
Toddler Stage
Enjoying family isn’t too hard with toddlers. They are so curious about the world around them. They are exploring what they can do and stopping to look and listen and feel every new thing. Watching them reminds me that I should take time to stop and enjoy the beauty around me. From the rocks and the birds to the excavators doing contruction there’s plenty to find awe in. Plus they are so adorable walking around like tiny adults. 😊
Preschool Stage
Probably my favorite thing about the preschool stage is that I can snuggle up with my kids and they’ll listen and look at pictures while I read them a book. I have a weakness for children’s books! And an even bigger weakness for reading them with a preschooler. What’s not to love about a sweet story and a sweet kiddo?
Elementary Stage
One thing that brings me joy in this stage is their creativity. I love to see what they come up with. Sometimes it’s in paper or carboard crafts. Sometimes it’s in art or music. Sometimes it’s in writing or videography. Sometimes it’s in their playing pretend. When our second was in this stage she often led her sisters in making big paper mermaids, then taking them through the house as they played pretend. Our sixth loves to make funny videos that crack us all up. Our seventh is already building with wood and thrives in the creative process. Seeing their creativity helps me enjoy family life.
Preteen Stage
Finding joy in the preteen stage has been pretty easy. This has seemed to be a calm before the storm, a time when children are naturally sweet and helpful. They often come to check in and tell me their thoughts or ask if they can help make dinner. This age is usually easy to get a hug from. 💗
Teen Stage
It is amazing to look at my kids and see them at adult size. During this time where there is often a pulling away from parents, there’s also a blossoming independence. Each individual has their own talents that really shine in the teen years, whether in sports, music, art, academics, or some other area. There also comes an ability to have a more grown up conversation from time to time, which can be really refreshing after years in “baby-land.” Paying attention to these things can help you enjoy your family at this stage.
The teen years is a critical time to keep finding joy in your children. This is a time when their confidence is fragil and it needs your boosts. This is also a time when your relationship with them might be fragil and could take extra work to keep alive. Finding good in them will help that. A quote that we strive to live by says, “Whatever choices our children might make, our Father in Heaven expects us never to give up on them, just as He will never give up one us.” (Dennis J. Nordfelt, Ensign Magazine July 2004) More thoughts on teens can be found in my post “The Storm Years.”
All Grown Up
We are just starting to see what this stage is all about, with 3 kids that are adults in my mind and only one who’s moved out. Even the ones who are here are doing their own thing most of the time. I get excited for messages and calls from them, and love when we get to spend time together. I feel proud of them in their accomplishments and their ambitions, even if some of their choices are not what I would have chosen for them. They’re good people who I love. I feel very grateful to know that whatever their lives bring, my hubby and I will always have an important role to play in giving them love and support.
A Joy that Keeps Coming
One of the things I enjoy most in my family is to see my children being kind. I love when they play together nicely. I appreciate it when my teens take turns picking songs to play instead of arguing over music. When a little one gets hurt, another little one will run to get the cold rice bag to help them feel better and it warms my heart.
On Halloween, after we went trick-or-treating, 2 of our little boys got their own candy to share with the trick-or-treaters that came to our door, even though we had candy right there to give.
Our 17 year old can be very patient and let our 5 year old bake with her. That same 5 year old runs to give her a hug before she leaves for class or work.
When our little 3 year old hears I’m going to do some work she says, “I’ll help you.”
After our 15 year old got her wisdom teeth out, her big sister sat by her and held her hand.
All these things make my heart so happy!
Sometimes I get really grouchy and go hide in my room. When I’m done pouting and want to feel better I make myself think of something each of my kids has done recently that made me smile. It surprises me that it only takes a few minutes, even when I think I won’t be able to think of anything. And with 10 kids to go through happy things about, I can’t help but be smiling when I’m done! I’m so blessed!
Thanks for reading my post. I hope you can find the joy in each of your kids’ stages to help you enjoy your adventure.
