The Bible tells us, “To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heaven.” (Eccl 3:1) I think this is very true in parenting.
There’s the time of their birth, and a time they leave home; a time to teach them, and a time to see what they’ve learned;
A time they are sick, and a time they are well; a time for meltdowns, and a time for courage;
A time to correct them, and a time to laugh with them; a time to put them to bed, and a time to dance with them;
A time to clean the house, and a time to leave the mess; a time to cuddle with them, and a time to give them space;
A time to give them gifts, and a time to donate toys; a time to be frustrated, and a time to be filled with joy.
While some of these things we have no control over, there are other things that we need to take charge of in order to run our households, take care of ourselves, and be good parents. So often in parenthood it feels like our time is not our own. There are days with little ones that you’re overworked and overwhelmed, yet feel like you haven’t accomplished anything at all!
Here are some habits I’ve gained that help me feel productive and satisfied with the work I’m doing as a mom and a housekeeper and all the in between.
Make a Flexible Routine
Kids thrive with routine, but somehow they are always Interrupting it! I’ve learned that to run a household, take care of my kids, and take care of myself, I need to have a routine that has room for what comes up each day. I feel like that has helped me to be a lot calmer of a parent.
In order to be both structured and flexible, start with a simple daily routine for your kids. This should include regular meals and a sleep time. It should also have space for work, wiggling, learning, and playing. When you’re planning for these basic things, you can take care of a lot of your needs as you take care of your kids. Eat healthy meals together, wiggle with your kids, and get sleep while your kids are sleeping.
I believe that too many families, especially in big cities, over-schedule their kids and don’t give them enough time to think for themselves and play. Over-scheduling can be worse for a family than not planning enough, because it doesn’t leave time for the mind to process what’s been learned, or for children to explore their capabilites, or to enjoy being in a family. Make sure you schedule some free time.
Our Routine
Because each day of our week has different things going on, and each year brings changes to our routines, what I’ll show here is a typical Wednesday this past year. The meals and sleep are the things that really stay consistent all week. See how I’ve built my routine around the one I’ve made for my kids. Also notice that there are some unscheduled minutes in there. This way I can see that all our needs get met from day to day. While I had a baby in diapers (for 21 years straight) the routine always worked around the baby’s needs.
| Wednsday Routine | The Kids | Me |
| 6:30-8 | Wake up, get ready for school | Get up, eat, get myself ready, see off my big kids and help littles get ready |
| 9am | start homeschool | start homeschool |
| 11:30-1 | make lunch, eat, clean up, play | make lunch, eat, clean up |
| 1-2 pm | more school | more school |
| 2-2:30pm | chores | chores |
| 2:30-3:30 | screen time | work, play, or rest |
| 3:30-5:30ish | play | work, play, take care of kids, make dinner |
| 5:30ish | family dinner, scripture, and clean up | family dinner, scripture, and clean up |
| 6:30 -7:45 | screen time | plan for Thursday homeschool, spend time with hubby |
| 8pm | get a snack and go upstairs | help get bedtime snacks, herd littles upstairs |
| 9pm | Family prayer, littles go to bed | family prayer, take littles to bed |
| 10ish | sleep | hang out with teens for a few minutes, then go to bed |
Because we’ve done it so much, the kids know how the routine goes. They know that getting ready for the day, including breakfast, needs to happen before school. They also know they need to help get ready for lunch and help clean it up. And they know that chores have to be done before they’re allowed to play on their screens. (I hate to admit it, but besides school or church our kids refer to “game time” the most often when we talk about our routine.)
While some of them are really good about doing the things they’re responsible for, others have to be reminded and rounded up, sometimes several times, to get all the things done. And that rounding up works best when you go to the kids one at a time. It’s also good to remember that the littlest ones will need your help in learning and doing their part.
Important Things on a To-Do List
With the basic needs of ourselves and our children being met in our routine, we can make daily goals for other important things. Making a simple to-do list each day is something I’ve found very helpful. This helps me make time for running the household, taking care of myself, and spending time with my family. And seeing I’ve gotten those goals done helps me feel like I’ve accomplished something. But I have to keep it simple because we already have the routine, and I know other things will come up.
When I’ve had a new baby, my to-do list would have things like; read my scriptures, nurse the baby, bathe the toddler, do the dishes, and hold my husband’s hand. They were simple but important goals for the day.
At this stage, when our baby is 4 years old, some of those things are easy to get to without writing them down, like dishes and scriptures, so I can have different things on my to-do list than I used to. I also write things I need to remember that my big kids are doing that day. This is my list today.
Your list should feel doable for your season. If it feels stressful, simplify it.
Ideas for Making the Most of Your Time
Strive for Balance
I’ve mentioned a book before that’s called, “The Yes Brain,” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. One of the things I love about this book is the idea of a “Healthy Mind Platter,” which suggests that there are specific types of activities our minds need every day in order to stay healthy. The types they list are sleep time, physical time, focus time, time-in, down time, connecting time, and play time. (Siegel and Bryson pgs 65-66) I’m not perfect at balancing my time, but when I feel unsatisfied with life, I go back to this idea it helps me see what I’m needing and find my smile again.
Get some Fresh Air
When you feel stuck in a rut, go outside. I’ve heard that stepping on dirt physically grounds our bodies, and also that just seeing the green on plants makes people feel more calm. There’s is fresh oxygen from the plants that our bodies need. There’s also vitamin D that so many people aren’t getting enough of that comes freely from the sunshine. And the little ones always find something fascinating out there.
Pause and Pray
One thing I’ve done for several years now is to pause occassionally throughout my day and think, and maybe pray, “What should I do right now?” It never takes long before a thought comes to mind, and I usually know right away if there’s one thing that’s most important. At any given moment I could be needing to do something to run my household, take care of myself, take care of my family, or help someone else. But every time I pause and pray, I feel like it gets me on the right track.
Just Be With Your Kids
Another book that I learned from is called, “The Gift of a Happy Mother,” by Rebecca Eanes. The thing I needed most from this book was the idea of making time to just be with our children every day. Most parents looked forward to having kids, but life can get in the way of us really enjoying this stage of their lives if we aren’t paying attention. This is the season to look at their cute faces, to smile and laugh with them, and hear what’s on their little minds. Making time to just be with them is a simple and beautiful way to enjoy our parenting adventures.
Thanks for reading my post.
