I’ve come up with a positive potty training method as I’ve worked with my 10 kids to get them toilet trained. Let’s face it, no matter how quickly your little one picks up on toilet skills, you’ll be spending several months helping them practice before they can do it themselves. So why rush? This is not a get-it-done-quick method, but it’s a take your time and don’t stress too much method. Make it a game, make it enjoyable, make it easier on yourself and your toddler.
This method is for the first phase of potty training where the parent is in charge of helping their little one practice using the toilet while they figure out what is expected from them. I talk more about the different phases of potty training in my other post The Potty Train.
3, 2, 1, Go!
For this potty training method, the idea is very simple. You work on potty training a little bit every day, but give yourself a limit so that if it’s not going well, you can have a break and try again tomorrow. The limit I’ve set for our little one is 3 pairs of training pants.
The first few days of positive potty training look this:
When our toddler wakes up, I’ll hold her for a few minutes, then take her to the toilet. We’ll give her a few minutes to try to use the potty, giving her some entertainment to help her stay put, and a little reward when she’s done. If she actually goes, there will be an extra reward and some cheering from the family. Then we put on the first pair of training pants.
We set the timer for 45 minutes to try again, and adjust the timing as needed.
Keep them close and watch them to know when they need to poop. Most little ones are obvious in their body language when that happens.
Tip: Giving them a minute or two of warning can help them go to the toilet more happily.
I know it’s so discouraging when they don’t pee in the toilet and then they do pee on the floor. Try to remember that this little one has no idea what it is you want from them, or how to make their body do it. Be patient. Be ready for messes. See below for tips on cleaning pee off the floor.
Keep trying until 3 pairs of training pants have gotten wet or dirty. Then put on a diaper and be done for the day.
As the days go by, your little one will keep those 3 pairs of training pants clean longer and longer. At some point they’ll only need 2, and then 1 pair of training pants. This may be days or weeks depending on your child’s abilities and motivation.
Once they’ve learned to keep one pair of training pants clean all day, you can switch to daytime underpants. When you notice them keeping their diaper dry all night, you can leave their underpants on through the night.
What you’ll need
Before you start your positive potty training, you’ll need some supplies.
- Training pants
- Little potty seat
- Entertainment
- Motivation
For the pros and cons of different training pants see my other post. You’ll need at least 6 pair of training pants for this method, some to wear and some to wash. For disposables, use one package at a time as needed.
For the little potty seat you have some options. the two basic types are a little seat that fits on top of the toilet, and a mini toilet. This is simply personal preference. You might look at some options on Amazon if you’re not sure what you’d like.
By entertainment I mean something to help them stay put while they wait for their body to let out its waist. Entertainment is an important part of this positive potty training method. I like entertaining them with a story book, but you might listen to a song, blow some bubble, watch a little video, or just let them talk to you about something. What keeps your little one entertained?
Tip: They like it when they get to choose their entertainment from 2 or 3 choices.
I’ve found that it’s easiest in the beginning to have the boys sit on toilet waiting for something to happen just like the girls would. When it’s time to teach the little boys how to stand up and aim in the toilet, you might throw something flushable in for them to aim at, like a little piece of cereal or toilet paper. That makes it feel like a game for them.
Tip: If it’s been an hour with no pee, give them something to drink.
Motivation
Motivation gets its own section because it’s so important. Without motivation there will be no progress.
This is the part that really determines if potty training is positive or negative. Motivation can come in the form of anger and punishment which is hurtful and doesn’t let them feel good about the effort they’re making. On the other hand, motivation that comes from fun, praise, and rewards is the kind that leaves the kids happy to come back to the potty and try again.
Tip: Having them race you to the toilet can make them more willing to go.
There should be a prize just for trying to use the potty. This might be a sticker, a small candy, a game with mom or dad, a few minutes of their favorite show, praise from the family, or whatever makes your little one happy to cooperate. What feels like a reward for your child?
There should also be a prize for when they actually use the potty. This could be a second prize like any of those I mentioned, or anything else you think would make your child feel good about their progress.
Tip: I’m a strong believer in parents’ intuition. Trust your own positive thoughts and ideas.
This time around I’m using story books as entertainment, 1 skittle candy for the trying prize, and a sticker on the chart plus some cheering from the family as the going prize.
Even Positive Potty Training is Hard Work
Even the easiest potty training takes a lot of time and effort. The kids that are easiest to potty train are the ones who are self motivated, who like clean pants, and who decide that they want to use the toilet. The kids who are harder to potty train are the ones who would rather play and really don’t care about clean pants. There are also some kids who have a really hard time learning their body’s cues or relaxing enough to let their body function correctly. Those will be the hardest to potty train.
In positive potty training there will be accidents. Clean their skin and get them clean pants right away to prevent soreness. Instead of blaming and getting upset, tell your little one that you’re bummed with them. And if you do get upset and you yell or spank (I’ve been there, I’m ashamed to admit, but a lot less often with this method), be done for the day, and apologize to that little one. Potty training is just as hard for your little one as it is for you.
Cleaning Pee off the floor
Here’s how I take care of it:
For carpet: Place a folded towel over the puddle and step on it several times to help it soak up the liquid. Generously sprinkle baking soda over the wet spot to soak up the rest of the liquid. After a couple hours vacuum up the baking soda.
For hard-floors: Use a towel to soak up the puddle. Clorox wipes are really handy for disinfecting the floor. You could also use any disinfecting spray that works for your hard surface and a paper towel.
Towels and pants with pee in them go straight in the washing machine at our house. And then our hands get washed.
Those of you who’ve read my other potty training posts know that several months ago our little #10 showed an interest in potty training. When I actually tried to teach her, she wasn’t actually interested. But she was still very little. We are trying again now that she’s 2.5 years old. We are just a few days in, and so far we haven’t gotten much of the hoped for action. But she is willing to try, and with this positive potty training method, I’m not stressing over it. If we don’t get it today, we’ll try again tomorrow.
Thanks for reading my post. I hope that it’s helpful. Good luck with your potty training adventure!
