Having recently written about some of my birth stories, I got to thinking about all the things I’ve learned about how to deal with the less than fun parts of pregnancy. Pregnancy and birth are a big deal, but they don’t need to be feared or miserable like some stories make them out to be. I’ve learned a lot about taking care of myself while pregnant, and about the parts of a hospital birth that they don’t tell you are optional. I feel like my last pregnancy was my best because I knew best how to take care of myself.
First I have to say that I’ve been blessed with such a healthy body and healthy pregnancies. I know some pregnancies are more difficult and even risky. I’m just hoping that by sharing what I’ve learned through 10 pregnancies and births I can help yours feel a little better. Educate yourself, and make decisions based on your knowledge, your doctor’s advice, and especially the inspiration you get in quiet prayerful times.
Here are some of the common issues I faced through my pregnancies and what I did to feel better.
Morning Sickness
Morning sickness, which is very common in the first trimester, was never extreme for me. I did throw up every morning for about the first 3 months of my first pregnancy. With the others I just had a queasy feeling that lasted most of the day. That queasiness felt the worst with Baby #10. But it was also the shortest, because that’s when I learned that vitamin B6 is great at relieving morning sickness and queasiness! Why didn’t someone tell me that years ago?
Lack of Energy
Tiredness is always a thing in pregnancy. Your body is working hard to build a new life. But, with Baby #9 I discovered that light exercise is really good at giving us energy! Things like walking, bikeriding, swimming, and any low impact exercise feels good and gets your heart going, which wakes you up and makes you feel like you can do more. And that’s definitely something we need to feel good in pregnancy.
Listening to your body and resting when you need to is also super important to feel good in pregnancy. There were some times I remember lying on the couch and wanting so much to go to sleep, but the little ones wouldn’t let me. I was pleased to find out that just lying down for a while helped almost as much as the little naps I sometimes got to enjoy.
If you feel overloaded with chores and tasks, ask for help. Sometimes we have to adjust our expectations for ourselves. My husband and I read that building a baby takes as much energy as climbing a mountain, so we would talk about me “climbing mountains” and not being able to do as much as I could before. It’s ok to count building a baby as the highest priority on your to-do list.
If you’ve read my other posts, you’re probably tired of me talking about nutrition, but it’s so important to how you feel. Eating real whole foods gives your body the best kind of energy to both build a baby and do everything else you need to do. Speaking of food…
Cravings: Give in or resist?
I believe that cravings in pregnancy are to tell us what we need. I’ve never had any super weird cravings, but I’ve read about women craving dirt when they are low on minerals. If you’re craving something that’s not actually food, resist it, and talk to your doctor about what your body might be needing.
If you’re craving something that is food, go for it! The biggest cravings I can remember were spaghetti with my 1st, fish with my 6th, broccoli with my 9th, and peaches with my 10th. I also craved pumpkin pie a few times with my 7th. Just remember not to go over board with anything you eat. I learned the hard way that being pregnant is not the perfect excuse to eat as much as I want… any extra weight you put on during pregnancy that you don’t need will mean more work getting it off later. Just listen to your body – eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re satisfied.
Something doesn’t feel right
Feeling good through pregnancy takes being in tune with our bodies. A lot of the things our bodies need through pregnancy we can take care of ourselves. Pay attention to the messages it sends you. Do you need to rest? Eat more protien? Get up and wiggle? Do it!
Then there are things that we need a doctor’s help with. During my 5th pregnancy I felt something was off, and I was glad I spoke up when we discovered my thyroid wasn’t working correctly. Again during my 10th pregnancy I was glad I spoke up about feeling off, because my progesterone was low. Low progesterone can lead to miscarriage if not treated. I was very thankful we caught that one early! If something just doesn’t feel right with your body, talk to your healthcare provider.
Heartburn
You can’t feel good through pregnancy with constant heartburn. There were a couple pregnancies that my heartburn was so bad, especially during the last trimester, that I felt I could hardly eat anything. 😕 Apparently I had developed acid reflux, which caused problems with my stomach and my teeth.
I always recommend trying natural remedies before medicine if you can. Often a change of diet can reduce heartburn. Cutting out added sugars, acidic foods, spicy foods, and deep fried foods can help a lot to reduce heartburn. During pregnancy, eating small frequent meals helps a lot too. Wait an hour after eating before you go to bed.
If you tried my natural remedy and you are still struggling with heartburn, some safe acid reducers during pregnancy and breastfeeding are famotadine and pantoprazole. Always start with the lowest dosage instead of reaching for “extra strength.”
Emotions
Before I got pregnant the first time, I was really good at not crying, especially in front of people. Suddenly I found myself getting choked up at sweet stories and dropping tears if my feelings got hurt. How embarassing!
Feeling good through pregnancy has to include your emotions. The only way to feel good when you feel sad or upset is to be ok with feeling that way. And it is ok to feel the way you feel.
Go find your husband and cry on his shoulder or hold his hand. Talk to him about how you feel. He wants and needs to know what’s going on with you. You’ll get through the emotional roller coaster better by leaning on each other.
Talking to another mother or mother-to-be can also be really comforting. It’s always nice to find someone that’s been there and understands.
Count your blessings. There is real power in gratitude. Studies have been done and concluded that people who are grateful are happier and healthier. What blessings do you have? Just that fact that you are reading this means that you can read, which is a huge blessing, and that you have access to the internet, which is another huge blessing. There are the first two, you take it from there…
Restless legs
When my legs wouldn’t stop wiggling, the two things that worked for me were drinking water and stretching my legs. I don’t know if that’s recommended any where, but it worked for me.
Vericose Veins
Compression socks and snug leggings are great for vericose veins. Stop to put your feet up occassionally throughout the day. During the last trimester, a warm bath feels a lot better than standing in the shower on those achy things.
Third Trimester Survival
Feeling good through the third trimester of pregnancy was always the hardest for me. Between being uncomfortable physically and being anxious for Baby to get there already, I got pretty cranky. But it wasn’t all bad. And by the time I’d had a few babies I got a good idea of how to make it almost pleasant.
Heavy tummy
With my last few pregnancies I used a baby wrap around my big tummy just like I would carry a little baby in it. That helped to ease the heaviness on my big belly.
Deep belly breathing and wall push ups can also help with the heaviness and muscle cramps by strengthening those abdominal muscles without hurting you or your baby.
Achy back
Squats! I’m telling you! Properly done squats give just the right stretch and strengthening to relieve your back of the ache from the extra weight you’re carrying during pregnancy.
Make sure when you sit down you have good back support. If you don’t have good support from your current furniture, grab a pillow or roll up a towel to put behind your lower back. This is good practice for when you’re breastfeeding, too.
Trying to Sleep
It’s hard to sleep good when you don’t feel good in your pregnancy. And that makes everything hard because you’re more tired than you already would be. Well, I have some tips for this one too.
Don’t eat within an hour of going to bed. Get outside during the day. Get some exercise. Have a bedtime routine. All these things can improve your sleep whether you’re pregnant or not.
Lying on your side during pregnancy can get old, and I found that my knees were uncomfortable until I put a pillow in between them. My heavy tummy got uncomfortable until I found a small pillow to stick under it too. With my last baby or two (sometimes it blurs together in my mind) I had a body pillow shaped like a C that was really helpful for getting comfortable. Sometimes I’d put it behind my back, so that I could lean in a different position. So get some extra pillows and get comfy.
Waiting
It felt so hard to wait that last month for our first baby! We literally waited all month, from the first of September, till almost midnight of September 30! Simply waiting for something to happen is not a happy way to face it. So after a few babies, I learned to find some things to work on while I waited for Baby:
- Get baby clothes ready (my favorite 🥰)
- Get baby’s bed ready
- Get carseat ready
- Get hospital bag ready
- Make sure you have essentials like baby blankets, diapers, and wipes.
- Pack your diaper bag.
- Do a project for yourself!
Do a project for you that you won’t be able to do after baby comes. This was especially good for helping me be patient while most of our babies came past their due dates. For me it was often a sewing or scrapbooking project. Or maybe I would reorganize something, which went well with that urge to clean. I also often felt like baking and cooking a lot that last trimester, so my family got to try lots of new recipes. Sometimes that was good and sometimes it wasn’t. 😆
More emotions
The emotional roller coaster only gets higher and faster as the birth-day approaches. There are so many feelings near the end of pregnancy as you wonder what your baby will look like and how it will feel to hold them. You might have questions like, Do I have everything ready? Will I be a good parent? Will our baby keep me up all night? Will we be able to afford all their needs?
You might be anxious about the birth itself. Our society is really good at telling about the possibility of painful and traumatic births. I remember talking to another expectant mom in my first pregnancy. Because of what I’d heard and read about giving birth, I was worrying about what giving birth would be like, and I asked her if she was scared. She said she wasn’t – she had waited for 7 years to get pregnant and she was only excited. I wished I had that much confidence.
So what can you do if you are worrying about it? Talk to your husband. Make a plan with him of how you will get ahold of him if he’s not with you when the time comes. Ask him if he can make arrangements to be closer to home than normal so he can be with you for labor and delivery. I found so much comfort in my husband’s presence, and squeezing his hand, as I gave birth to our babies.
I also asked my husband to give me a priesthood blessing when we got close to each of our babies’ due dates. What a comfort that was for me. It gave me peace, every time. If your husband can’t do that for you, find a family friend or religious leader who can, or ask people to pray for you. There truly is power that gives peace of mind as you turn to the Lord for help.
If you have older kids make a plan with someone you trust to care for them when you give birth. If your kids need to leave home to be taken care of, pack an overnight bag for them. Talk to your kids about what will happen to help ease their anxiety.
Educate yourself about the birth process. Try to find sources that are positive and will leave you feeling peaceful and empowered. Don’t keep reading stories that make you feel anxious and scared.
Speaking of which, I’m almost done reading a book about painfree pregnancy and birth. It was written by a friend of mine who also has 10 kids. Her experiences left her with a lot different perspective than I’ve had, and I enjoyed having my mind open to new ideas. She’s also done a lot of study, so that in her book she shares a wealth of knowledge about options for healthcare, making a birthplan, and enjoying the whole experience of pregnany and birth. If you’d like to read it, it’s “What to Create When You’re Creating” by Kristi Dugan.
How to know when it’s time
It took me several birthing experiences to understand when labor was really starting. Contractions 5 minutes apart doesn’t always happen. Hurting enough to make you cry doesn’t always happen. What I finally figured out was when the contractions bent my body over, it was time to go.
For example, I can remember with one baby, my hubby had dropped me off by the maternity door at the hospital while he parked, and as I waited for him I had a contraction that took me from standing to an upside down L position. With another I remember being in bed at home, lying on my side, and my body curling into a ball during a hard contraction. With #9 I felt the need to get off my chair and kneel on the floor, leaning forward on the chair seat for one big contraction. With #10, I went from lying on my bed to kneeling on it and a contraction bent me over till my head was on the bed. That was how I knew it was time.
At the Hospital for Labor and Delivery
Feeling good through pregnancy includes all the way till birth. All my birth experiences were in hospitals, so that’s all I can share about. I learned over time that you don’t have to let them do their normal hospital routine on you. Ask them questions about any thing they’re doing that’s unfamiliar to you.
Hospital gowns are optional. I always wore them, but the last time I was comforted by keeping on my comfy nursing bra under it. I like being covered.
An IV port is optional. That is a safety precaution, in case they need to give you fluids or want to give you pitocin or other things like that. If you aren’t comfortable with that, say no. They can put one in quickly if it turns into a need.
Pitocin is optional. It usally does speed up the labor process by making the contractions come faster and harder. But that means the contractions are coming faster and harder. The birth that hurt the most for me was the one with the most pitocin. My best feeling labors and births were the 2 without pitocin. Another thing to keep in mind is that if you have pitocin, it stays in your system after you give birth, making the after pains worse than they need to be.
An epidural is optional. Epidurals are talked about like they’re the best way to feel good as your pregnancy ends. There are costs and benefits to having an epidural. It doesn’t always work correctly. A couple times it made me too numb to function well, and one time it left the pain of each contraction just in one hip. It usually slows down the labor process, which often means they’ll want to give you more pitocin to make up for it. The times I gave birth without an epidural, I loved the euphoria of relief when the baby was born. You can’t feel that when you’re numb. That being said, I did opt for an epidural with #10 because I was so exhausted from false labors earlier that week, and it turned out ok. It was a beautiful birth.
Sitting/lying on the bed is optional, and I encourage you not to! Stand and sway, rock on your hands and knees, bounce on a birthing ball, or whatever feels good. It’s way more comfortable to be moving through your contractions than to just sit there.
Induction or c-section are optional. There are times when those are the best options, but there are other times when they shouldn’t be options at all. The vast majority of the time, a baby will be born safely without either of those medical interventions. Listen to your body, your healthcare provider, your own knowledge, and maybe a second healthcare provider, then pray for inspiration and follow it.
A New Baby
There’s no feeling in the world like holding your baby for the first time. 💗💗💗 It came very naturally to me to forget any worries or pains in those precious moments and just be happy. I hope that’s how it is for you, too.
And where this story ends, parenthood begins.
Thanks for reading my post. It you liked it, share it. I hope you’re enjoying your adventure.
