There have been so many times that our family with a lot of kids, or even part of our family, has gone to a playdate or a party and we’ve made up at least 50% of the people present. In times like that I feel like us being there has made this event successful! I brought the party with me!
Having a family with a lot of kids is definitely unusual, and we know how we stick out in public. There are definitely hard things about having a big family. But to us, each of our children, and all of them together are well worth whatever challenge they bring with them.
So what is it like to be part of a big family?
In a big family there’s a lot of noise! There’s chatter and laughter and singing and shouting. Most of it is playful and happy. And loud. And the fact that our classroom/dining room is super echo-y doesn’t help. When we are gathered together for dinner and most of the kids are talking, hubby and I can’t hear each other talk. When the kids have their screen time all their devices are making their own sounds, and every once in a while one of them gets excited about their game and shouts. Sometimes they play noisy games that have them running circles around the dining room table. Yikes!
Honestly, we’re pretty used to the noise. But each of us have to escape from the noise sometimes. We can usually get some temporary quiet if the little ones go to the backyard, or if we go hide in our bedrooms, or go out for a walk. I like to get up before my kids do to get a little quiet time each day. It feels kind of magical. Then I can handle, and even enjoy, their happy noises throughout the day. And tolerate the unhappy noises too.
Most of the time we don’t invite friends for our cake and presents portion of birthday celebrations because we feel like we have enough for a party by ourselves. 😆
A family with a lot of kids is a lot of work!
Another reality of a big family is a lot of chores. The piles of laundry, both dirty and clean, are never ending. We easily do 2 loads a day, and there’s enough clothes for a lot more. The dishes are never ending, too. I’ve mentioned before that even as we’re cleaning up one meal the littles might come for more food. As the dishwasher runs, which it does at least twice a day, there’s a growing pile of dirty dishes waiting for their turn.
There are toys and socks and papers that are constantly being dropped or picked up from the floor. The table gets cleared before and after our meals. It just doesn’t stop. On the other hand, there are a lot of helpers around here, so we just say the word and they can tidy things up pretty quickly. 😃 Sometimes it takes several words. 😉
Trying to take our big family out is an event. The vast majority of the time Dad and I take turns taking a few out, just to make our lives easier. But easier doesn’t mean easy. Let’s say I’m going to take some for a walk, or a bike-ride. There’s a lot of “Can I go too?” and looking for shoes. Dad built us a very clever shoe and hoody cubby that makes finding shoes so much faster! There’s often a pair of shoes that hasn’t gotten put away, though, or a single shoe that’s lost.
We also have to make trips to the bathroom before we go out so no one has any emergencies while we’re gone. If it’s cold out, that adds a layer, literally, and we’re all searching for our jackets in the plethora hanging there. (I should go through those, I bet there are some that don’t fit anyone right now…) So we spend 25 minutes getting everyone ready, and go out on a 15 minute walk. And I’m constantly counting the 5 or 6 that came with me and saying, “Don’t get too far ahead!” Hahaha! It is worth it, because we all needed to get some sunshine and some wiggles out. And they’ll usually let me rest when we get home.
A family with a lot of kids is never lonely.
One of my favorite things about having a big family is that there’s never a reason to be lonely. There is always a friend to talk to. There’s always someone to play with. There is always someone to help out, if I can remember to ask for help. There is always someone to celebrate your accomplishments or hear your troubles. ❤
“Down by the banks”
the video Dad made
for a tree branch
A big family is a challenge!
One of the most difficult things for me about a big family has been trying to keep track of all of them and all their needs. I do feel like it’s a major priority to know where they all are at any given moment. Right now #1 just got home from work, #2 is at school in Idaho, #3 and 4 are at their high school, and #5-10 are still asleep. (It’s my magical quiet time.😄) But in just a few minutes I’ll go wake up most of them so we can get started on our homeschool day.
So that’s where they are, what about their needs? We have to make sure there is plenty of food (see 6 tips for Store Savings) and enough clean clothes and dishes. We have to make sure they have clothes that fit. Right now I have on my to-do list to get some new pants for #6, a belt for #1, and some bigger shirts for #9. Amazon has made keeping up with their needs easier!
We have to make sure we get to them often enough that they feel they’re valued. That part is not always easy. There is no time for helicopter parenting in a big family! But it’s always so rewarding to make a little connection. This is when we can find out their other needs, like when they want to have friends over, or their leg is achy from the weather, or they had a hard time with their math test, or they got an A+ on their homework. All together this stuff gets my brain on overload pretty often. Sometimes when they ask to go to the park I have to say, “I can’t handle your question right now, ask me on Thursday.” But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
A family with a lot of kids is a blessing!
Having a big family has meant that I’ve been pregnant or nursing almost constantly for the past 20 years (see Juggling your Baby and Toddler for more). That has not been easy. I have been really blessed to have healthy pregnancies that have allowed me to keep caring for my family well enough throughout these years. But being tired or having a baby in my arms does make things feel harder.
Still, each precious baby fills my heart so full. You might be tempted to think that a person has a limited capacity for love, that our hearts fill up like a glass of milk and then can’t hold any more. The reality is that the love in our family has multiplied, like we hope the numbers in our bank account would. When we meet our new tiny family member, that feeling of love grows in each parent, and in each sibling. We love each new person so much, and they love us back and it’s amazing! That is probably our biggest reason for deciding to bring each additional baby person into our lives.
A big family is an endless party!
I can’t fill you in on all the details, there’s just too much. I can summarize by saying that having a big family kind of feels like always hosting a party for your favorite people. Can you imagine trying to keep up the snacks and entertainment, trying to get around to all your guests to make them feel welcome, trying to get to any issues that come up quickly so things can keep running smoothly? Can you imagine enjoying their smiles and laughter, and loving that they’re there with you? Yup, that’s pretty much what it feels like to take care of a family with a lot of kids. It can be exhausting, but it’s so much fun!
I hope you liked my post. Thanks for reading it. And go enjoy your adventure.
For another peek at our big family, see A Bedtime Story.
♥️