Stealing Some Time

Making time for yourself is so important, but so hard as a full-time parent. Even as I sit down to write this, someone starts crying, which means I have to pause to go take care of them. My time is not my own.

You know, I wash my hands dozens of times each day, and every once in a while I look up at myself in the mirror while I’m washing them. Sometimes I’m like, “Oh, it’s me. I guess I’m still here.” I might notice the gray in my hair (that I call tinsel😋). Maybe I’ll see some splotchy spots on my face, a tired look in my eyes, or some goo on my shirt.

I think if I could see myself like I see my kids it would be easier for me to see when I need something. Watching for others’ needs all day, it’s hard to know right away when I need a snack or some exercise or a bathroom break. And there’s never a good time for me to take that break. I have to steal some time.

Making time for yourself is essential! But it’s hard. And sometimes I pay for it. 

One day I had gone out for some “Anne-time,” which was really refreshing. When I got home I didn’t see little #9 right away. He was the youngest at the time. It seemed no one had seen him for a bit. I soon found him in the upstairs bathroom with some powdered cleaner. He was in the middle of a huge mess. From piles of cleaner on the counter and in the sink, to sprinkles of it about 5 feet wide across the floor, and all up and down his front, it was a blue powdery disaster.

Luckily I had just been refreshed, so I was able to keep my wits about me and simply explain to the little guy that this stuff could hurt him and it wasn’t safe to clean the bathroom without help. Then I stuck him in the shower and got to work cleaning up. As I scrubbed the floor he yelled to me, “Thanks for cleaning, Mom!” 🥰 That break was definitely worth the cost!

Here are 3 suggestions for ways to steal some time for self-care.

• Watch for what YOU need
• Stop to smell the roses
• Get a baby-sitter sometimes

Watch for what you need

Just like your kids and your spouse need love, attention, food, and balance in their lives, so do you. Making time for yourself means putting yourself on the list of people you take care of.  Sometimes it’s easy to expect the people around us to know what we want and need because they care about us. Unfortunately, they aren’t mind readers. Even more frustrating is that sometimes we don’t know what we need! 

So when you’re feeling testy, pause. Think about it. Am I hungry? Am I tired? Do I need to get my wiggles out? Do I need some attention? And when you figure it out, just steal a few minutes to take care of yourself. And when you need someone else to take care of you, go tell them. 

Stop to smell the roses

Who ever came up with that saying was smart. It’s important to our mental health to notice the beauty around us, be it the roses, the sunset, the toddlers being curious about a bug on the ground, the elementary age child making up their own silly jokes, or the teenager showing their blooming talents. 

This one really takes a mental effort, probably even more than noticing our own needs. There’s so much bombarding our thoughts, and the to-do list is so long. The dishes and the laundry and the messes are never ending! But that rose bush is making roses too. Making time for yourself means making a daily effort to see the beauty around you until it becomes a habit. 

As I’ve found myself needing to tweak things like this in my life, I make myself reminders. My husband can tell you that I have lists and charts and reminders all over the place. 😬 That’s how I keep myself on track and moving forward. So yes, I’ve put a paper on the wall in the kitchen to remind me to watch for precious moments or make time to just enjoy my kids, and that has helped me make it a habit. 

Do you remember the “Where’s Waldo” books? You have to look through hundreds of details to find the little striped shirt guy.  Seeing the beauty in life can feel like that. So steal some time to find it! It’s there waiting for you. And noticing it can help you with your self-care. 

That reminds me of a video my hubby put on Youtube of his hike on the Peralta Trail.  And his video of the desert sunrise is my favorite! 🌄

Get a baby-sitter sometimes

Ok, I have to admit that I was spoiled with a weekly baby-sitter for lots of years, thanks to my parents-in-law. Making that time for myself was such a blessing to my mental health! I hope to be able to help my kids out that way someday. Sometimes I used that time for errands, sometimes for a walk in the desert (when it’s not summer), sometimes I’d hide in my room and scrapbook.

A lot of times I would just go shopping for nothing in particular, just to think about something besides my endless to-do list. Sometimes I used it for a date with my hubby or one of my kids. Since my kids would look forward to Grandma and Grandpa coming it was pretty easy to sneak out and do something for me. Yep, I was spoiled. 

During the times that I didn’t have a regular baby-sitter, or now that I have gotten out of the habit of making time for my self-care, it’s harder for me to think of what to do when I do have a baby-sitter. What do I like to do? 

When I had 3 little kids and post partum depression (which is a topic for another time), I realized I’d pretty much forgotten who I was and had gotten lost in my work as a mom. It took time and effort to think and remember things I’d enjoyed before, and figure out what I could enjoy now. 

And, don’t laugh at me, I now have a list in my closet of thing I like to do for myself. Some of those things are read, write, take a walk, take a bath, paint my toenails, organize something, sew, and scrapbook.  I also have a reminder on my phone to make time for myself once a week. I don’t always get around to doing it, but just seeing it there makes me feel better about life, like I have permission to just be me. 

Thanks for reading my blog. If you liked it, share it. And remember that making time for yourself will help you enjoy your adventure.

For more ideas on self-care see my cookie cutter post.