Walking with a 2 Year Old

Have you ever been for a walk with a 2 year old child? In my mind this a perfect way to summarize 2 year old behavior.

2 year old behavior can be adorable and admirable, or super frustrating! They have gotten good enough at walking that they know they can do it, but they haven’t learned yet where or when walking is ok. I could say the same sentence with several different verbs; talking, climbing, grabbing, drawing, eating, etc… They have confidence in their new abilities, but no wisdom about rules or safety. So they break the rules, which is frustrating to us. And we stop them, which is frustrating to them.

Let’s go for a walk with a 2 year old.

First we have to get their attention. Sometimes just saying “Let’s go for a walk,” will be enough. Other times they’ll completely ignore you, whether they’re playing playdoh, sitting in the box you just got a package in, or throwing toys out of their tub. Maybe they’ll decide it’s a good time to get your attention by running away from you. All of those are typical 2 year old behaviors.

Our current 2 year old loves to go for walks, and will most likely go toward the door if we mention it, but she also loves to run away laughing.

Next we have to get their shoes. If the shoes have been put away, they’ll be easy to find. And if not, the hunt begins. Once the shoes are found they need to be put on. Some little muffins can do that by themselves. Most will want to put them on themselves whether they can or not. “My do it!” and “I do it!” are some of the most common phrases I’ve heard from the 2 year old kids in my life.

My mom tells a story about me insisting that I put on my own dress shoes at 2 years old. They were the kind that buckled, so they took forever, but I wouldn’t let her help. Thanks for being patient with me, Mom. 🙂

Out the door

Once you’re out the door you have to stay alert. Most 2 year old kids will just take off whether you’re ready or not, so watch out. I hold their hand as long as they’ll let me. I chase them down the street when they run. I try to be patient when they find a rock or a bug or some other interesting thing to look at. If you thought this walk would be good exercise for you, think again. A walk with a 2 year old is exercise for your patience more than your physical health.

I’ve often found it frustrating to have the little ones stop over and over when I just want to walk. But if I can try to see it from their point of view, and maybe even look at what caught their attention, I feel differently. It’s good to be reminded to notice the little beauties around us.

You can’t reason with a 2 year old

Toddler behavior is a lot more about feelings and urges than thinking. Have you ever tried to reason with a 2 year old? It just doesn’t work. They just don’t understand.

If you’re little one runs far ahead on your walk and you say, “You have to stay by me so you can be safe,” that probably won’t get them to stay close. They can’t see the reasoning behind it. It is still worth saying, though, so they can start to learn what it means.

I’ve found it useful to add to my teaching something more present, like a consequence or a game.

I might say, “If you don’t hold my hand, I’ll have to carry you.” They understand that, and they want to walk. Make sure if you tell them there’s a consequence coming that you follow through.

I like to play a game with my kids as we walk around the neighborhood to help them stay close to me. I look ahead to something, maybe a tree or a trash can or a fire hydrant, and tell them to go to it. They run to it and wait for me to get there, then I tell them the next thing to go to. This has worked really well with my kids, especially as I’ve had multiple going at different speeds. The 2 year old kids can’t quite keep up with the 9 year old kids, but they both enjoy the game. It keeps them all where I can see them and they can hear me.

We can’t forget the tantrums

Toddlers have gotten a bad reputation for their tantrums. This is a part of 2 year old behavior that none of us like to deal with. But it happens. So what should we do with it?

Keep calm and stand your ground

If they’re throwing a fit because you’re picking them up when they won’t hold your hand, pick them up anyway. Don’t get scared off by their big feelings.

If their fit is because you turned left instead of right, wait on the corner until they can calm down enough to ask nicely.

If their fit is because they don’t want to go home when it’s time, take them to home anyway.

They need to know that you are the boss. Staying calm and holding your ground will help them feel safe, knowing that you are in control.

Stay close by during their tantrums

Such big feelings can be overwhelming and even scary for those little people. They haven’t learned what to do with their big anger and frustration. Having you close by while they work through their emotions can be comforting. Of course you’d be close to them for safety reasons out on a walk, but remember when you get home that your calm presence is comforting.

You can talk to them about their feelings to help them start to understand themselves. When they’re a little older and can reason better, you can talk to them when they’re calm about better behavior for expressing their feelings.

Think about what they need

A lot of the time “bad” toddler behavior is because they need something that they aren’t aware of. Are they hungry, tired, thirsty? Do they need a hug or to be held? Is something close by upsetting them? Do they need some quiet time? Do they need your undivided attention for a few minutes?

Sometimes what they need is some control. By offering them a few simple choices, you let them have a little power and it helps them feel important. On a walk the choices might be turning right or left, or walking, running, or skipping. It might even be enough that you let them choose to stop and look at that leaf on the ground for a few minutes.

If you can figure out what need is driving their behavior, and help meet that need, it will be easier to get them back to more pleasant toddler behavior. Sometimes the only way to figure it out is by trying different things till they calm down. Good luck!

While 2 year old behavior can be unpredictable and sometimes frustrating, if we can try to see their perspective it will be easier for us to be patient and enjoy our adventures with our little ones.

You can read more about helping kids behave and how to react to their big feelings in Be Tough and Gentle.

Thanks for reading my post. I hope you’re enjoying your adventure.